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Respect the purpose of a sentence!



I closed a PayPal account today and got an email back that started:

"We are sorry that you have decided to close your PayPal account. With millions of members in dozens of countries and regions across the globe, PayPal is continually improving and expanding its award-winning services."

Fair enough, but that "With _____, PayPal is _____" construction jarred with me. Is there a connection between the two statements in the sentence that justifies the construction, the flow over the comma from the first into the second statement? Are they trying to suggest that because they are so big they can improve & expand their services? That's doesn't follow.

The aim of the paragraph is clearly to make you reconsider to some extent your act of closing the account. They could just state baldly a number of facts that might make you reconsider: Don't leave us. We're huge. We're improving & expanding our services. Loads of other people think we're great. Instead they feel it is necessary to try to make a sentence out of the few vague points they have vaguely in mind, and they show no respect for the coherence of the Sentence, or for the logic that is meant to be contained therein.

I've rushed this one off, so apologies if it shows any disrespect for the tools of writing. For a better understanding of what I'm aluding to, try: http://www.xenodochy.org/gs/gslevels.html

POC

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